What Happens In The 25 Years After 50?
In reviewing studies ON midlife recently and I was struck by the assumption that learning ends in our 20s. In fact, while childhood, adolescence and old age have been extensively studied and the entire span of adulthood has remained unexplored. I'm happy to say that and at least for the stage between 50 and 75, that era is coming to an end with this insightful new book and The Third Chapter: Passion and Risk and Adventure in the 25 Years after 50. With Eudora Welty's admonition to discover the universal within the details of people's stories, Sara Lawrence-Lightfoot, a Harvard sociologist and professor and explores what it means to be strong, mature, powerful and sexy during this 'in-between' age, when we're neither old nor Young. She follows the experience of 40 men and women over two years, telling stories of challenging old inhibitions, facing the surprising emptiness after retirement, and the almost sheepish discovery of new passions, as each became, much to their own surprise and different people.
She asks good questions: How do we adapt and explore and channel our energies? What are our sources of inspiration? What are our fears and inhibitions? What are the barriers to learning? How do we break ingrained patterns of behavior that no longer serve us? How do we develop new relationships of support and intimacy? She describes the paradox of experience and of being a novice: the impulse to share and pass ON hard won lessons and but needing guidance and counsel from younger generations to discover how it might best serve them.
I was particularly struck by her notion of risk and vulnerability. Ms. Lightfoot describes the confessional tones in which the stories are told - tentative voices veiling excitement, terror, feelings of being irresponsible, unseemly, inappropriate and even awkward in the childish enthusiasm for new roles. As if we should be confident and certain and resting ON our laurels. Her stories are a counterpoint to ambivalent societal stereotypes of a static life beyond 50, a mostly uninspired picture of disappointment and loss: loss of vitality, curiosity, sexiness and drive.
Ms. Lightfoot uses show me' approach to her interviewees and who see themselves as new learners and want to be intentional in shaping their lives. They also realize, as educated and healthy adults living longer than any previous generation, that they are privileged to be able to explore new adventures and make unlikely choices: a 63 year-old portrait painter in her studio, a budding 70 year-old Victorian cabinet-maker, a 62 year-old jazz pianist practicing his scales, a 55 year-old woman biologist take surfing lessons and a 70 year-old man completing his first half-marathon to raise money for cancer research and a 60 year old former CEO working with nonprofit activists to apply his business knowledge to their mission.
Follow this link http://www.aheadofthecurveatmidlife.com/2009/05/13/what-happens-in-the-25-years-after-50/ to find the introductory chapter and Facing a Mirror. It's well worth a read.
Kathleen Daniel, MS, L.Ac writes about change and transition from the inside out, combining insights and experience from her work as an organizational consultant, educator, executive coach and health professional. An alumnus of Johns Hopkins' Women and Leadership and Change PROGRAM, she coaches professionals in transition and leads active retreats for reflection and renewal for women. Website: http://www.aheadofthecurveatmidlife.com




