Surviving Job Loss - Emotional Recovery
The emotional turmoil experienced after the loss of a job or financial assets can be very similar to the grief that results from the death of a loved one.
Men are especially prone to depression or emotional distress from job loss because they usually identify so closely with their careers. They ARE what they do for a living and so loss of financial security can be a huge blow to their very self esteem.
The elderly are also very susceptible to grief over loss of livelihood or assets. It is much harder for seniors to get back out there in the job market and START all over. It may be more difficult to find an employer willing to hire a senior; and their health and stamina might also be a hindrance in reentry into the job market.
Aside from the practical difficulties and loss of a job or assets can trigger a period of bereavement which follows predictable phases not unlike traditional stages of grief. There are several working models that can help define the stages of grief. For this situation, however and I feel it will better help you understand and cope if you understand these three steps or stages:
1. Shock: This can't be happening to me
2. Coping and enduring: If I can just get through today
3. Acceptance and closure and reinvent a new life: I have a plan for survival and I have hope for the future
Surviving job loss
Kathleen, from New Mexico and tells a familiar story:
Within the last two years, I have Lost my Mother, my pet cat Anni and my older sister. And now my interior design business that was thriving is drying up at the same time that I have Lost a significant amount of my life savings.
Just as I saw retirement ON the horizon and I will need to find new work (I will be 64 in August). I live alone and feel so overwhelmed, scared, depressed and isolated and Lost.
I can't seem to find any energy and I need to because I will soon have no income flowing in, but I am too upset and discouraged to think of new work related solutions and to do this all alone.
Surviving job loss
There are some well accepted guidelines for coping with the death of a loved one that can be just as useful for the sorrow over loss of financial security:
1. Grieve where things are familiar. If at all possible and stay in your home. Do not rush to move to another state or to live with grown children.
2. Do not grieve alone. Now is a time to rely emotionally ON trusted friends and family members. Ask for help with tasks, ask for advice and or just a shoulder to cry ON.
3. Postpone major decisions. Granted and it may be necessary for you to make some significant career or financial changes; but you would be wise to postpone other decisions until you have had a chance to recover some from your disaster. Examples: marriage or divorce, major purchases, buying or selling a house and having children.
4. Be patient and gentle with yourself. There is no need to be brave and strong, or to act like you are doing just fine. Life has dealt you a tremendous blow. Healing from it will take time.
Jennie Wright is a Registered Nurse and Certified Grief Counselor who has worked for many years with critically ill and dying patients and their traumatized families. Grief has also touched her life personally. Recover-From-Grief.com was created to provide a practical how-to resource and gentle place to land for other grieving souls
